The ABC’s of the last two months (well, two years, I guess)
are pretty intense. Just in the last eight weeks or so, I have experienced a week
in the bed sick, my maternal aunt’s passing, my beloved cousin’s cancer diagnosis,
the continued decline in my father’s health due to Alzheimer’s, additional
health scares for several other close family members, some significant
relational tension, an ice storm, and an uncle having Hospice called in for the
last days of his life.
In all truthfulness, while I am radically blessed, my life
is also definitively stressed. I hoping the coal of my existence will be
effectively pressurized into a diamond to place in front of the Eternal One. But
until that day comes, I find that sometimes, it’s cathartic to just settle in
and write about “the real”… the real hardness of life and the transformative pain
often found in the waiting.
I’m fully trusting in all things working together for good.
And even without Eternity, I’d still not be an atheist. The world is too
beautifully ordered in the chaos of it all to be the result of a serendipitous
coagulation of primordial soup -- but that’s another writing for another day.
This penning is about the alphabet of my current reality… or at least how it’s
finding expression in the wee hours of a new day.
A is for Alzheimer’s – that damned disease.
B is for Breathe in; Breathe Out…. Just Breathe.
C is for Cancer – may it rot in hell.
D is for Dementia – that accursed thief of thought.
E is for Eternity – and the hope that holds on for it.
F is for Family, and Friends, and Friends who are Family…
and Faith, of course.
G is for my Abba, The Triune God of the Universe.
H is for Hellfire and Damnation – the place I want to send
earth’s diseases.
I is for Insight – so needed within emotional malaise.
J is for Jesus and Joy – One brings the other.
K is for Kindred Spirits, who listen and lighten the load.
L is for Love and Life and the One who endowed us with both.
M is for Mom and the beauty and pain I see as she keeps
covenant.
N is for Not ever knowing what the new day will bring… and
letting that be okay.
O is for Opportunities to practice “just being” vs. always
living in a frenetic state.
P is for Peace, the Shalom kind: holistic, inner peace
regardless of the externals.
Q is for Quiet Times to rest and recalibrate.
R is for Redemption – and the gorgeous truth found therein.
S is for Salvation, a one-time and simultaneously ongoing
gift.
T is for Time, our master or our servant.
U is for Understanding that not all things can be
understood.
V is for Visceral living – refusing to build walls, even when
the heart seeks protection.
W is for the Wind of the Holy Spirit, blowing out the
cobwebs in our soul.
X marks the spot of the
Yearning fulfilled to revel in the
Zeal for Life more than the Shadows of Living.
